Real-Time Observations from John Kerry's Speech
10:13 "My mother was a rock." That goes a long way towards explaining things.
10:16 Kerry is channelling the '60s. "The march isn't over! We're going to change the world!" Memo to self: dig up old bell bottoms and tie-dyes.
10:18 "I ask you to challenge me on my record!" Note to the RNC: GAME ON!
10:19 Let the bashing begin. Shots at Bush, Cheney, and Ashcroft all in one sentence (albeit a pedantic run-on sentence).
10:24 Kerry praises Terayza. She finally leans forward attentively, as he has seemingly found a topic of interest to her.
10:28 Kerry promises that he will never let "facts be distorted by politics." That's rich.
10:30 Back to Vietnam for at least the third rotation in 30 minutes.
10:31 Apparently Kerry thinks the French are the key to winning Iraq. Never mind that they have, in the past, been incapable of defending France.
10:32 He appears to propose disbanding the National Guard and Reserves, describing their call-up as a "back-door draft" that he will end. If you can't call 'em up, why keep 'em together, John?
10:35 Claims, without any evidence, that we are closing firehouses in America. That'll get everyone out to the polls.
10:37 Another interminable Vietnam diatribe. We know, we know!
10:38 Here come the values! "It's time for those who talk about family values to start valuing families" This means apparently (from the next sentence) that social security, medicare, and body armor are "family values."
10:40 In a strange diatribe centered around "Help is on the Way," Kerry appears to somehow solve the problems in the steel industry, cure breast cancer, end homelessness, and raise low wages. How does he do all that? Don't be a spoil sport.
10:50 I've never heard so many topics covered so quickly. In five minutes he's gone from tax cuts to tax increases to the cost of prison to the cost of health insurance to HMO reform to medicare to political privelege back to health care as a civil right to mideast oil to alternative fuels, finally ending in this rousing call to all of America: "GO TO JOHNKERRYDOTCOM!"
10:55 Time for some shameless pandering to religion, and another Vietnam remark. "We are on God's side" brings down the house. Then it's off to Kitty Hawk, the Internet, Parkinsons disease, diabetes, AIDs, science research, safe children in the afternoon (huh?), I can't type fast enough, omigod, we're back to Vietnam again! And with a pinch of good old "diversity" for good measure.
Whew! That last 10 minutes was a barn burner. I am convinced this man is so focused on obtaining the presidency he has no idea what he would do upon reaching it.