I had a really wonderful weekend September 9-10.

Without going into too much detail, it involved a lovely lady and good friend. We laughed a lot, went out to eat, held hands, fell asleep together on the couch. I had forgotten what that sort of thing feels like (and no, not that sort of thing - just the things I mentioned).

Normally, the high from a great weekend would last well into the next week, but there is no "normal" for me anymore. Besides, today is September 11th, so I have been quickly transformed back to my usual workday state of low-level depression.

But still, I am relieved to discover I can again hang out with a woman, be affectionate, and appreciate her affection. For the first time in over 8 months since losing Suzy, I am sure I can still feel something. I am sure I can get through this. I am sure I can be happy again someday. What a great gift.

Update: My young friend and fellow blogging widow Tamsen shares the sentiment in her post Back From Hell:

Even so, I feel that that weekend was a break-through of sorts for me, emotionally speaking. For so long now I've been getting by on just hoping that things would work out, that I'd find a way to get better, a way to be content, if not happy. But that one brief, shining moment where I really knew that I will be alright, and that there will come a day where my life will be worth the trouble again has helped me to move forward another step in the process of grief. It's easier to deal with the pain today if you really believe (instead of just hope) that things will get better, that the pain will ease as the years go by.