The Peoples Republic of Massachussetts

Attention citizens of Massachussetts:

We, your duly elected government, being superior to each and every one of you, will now require you to register with your government in order to possess knives that we, your superiors, have determined to be dangerous to you inferior and second rate citizens.

Any individual who requires a machete for the purposes of cutting vegetation shall register the machete with the local police department on an annual basis and, upon payment of an appropriate annual registration fee as determined by the local granting authority, shall be issued a permit authorizing him to possess the machete solely for the purposes of cutting vegetation.

First, we couldn't trust you with the guns. Now it's the machetes. Please, please, don't make us take away your carving knives. Or steak knives. Or razors. Good God, people we will register and fee you to death if you don't wise up and behave in ways we deem appropriate. That is all.

Fondly,

Your The Imperial Government.