The New York Times checks in on the new pope. Here's a list of adjectives the old gray lady uses to describe Joseph Ratzinger, who has been pope less than, oh, four hours now: "doctrinal watchdog," "intellectual clone," "uncompromising," "ultraconservative," "uncompromising" (that's twice for that one), "aloof."

Not content to merely call the new pope "uncompromising" twice, the Times offers this helpful example: "As cardinal, he had shut the door on any discussion on several issues, including the ordination of women, celibacy of priests and homosexuality, defending his positions by invoking theological truth."

The piece isn't all bad, though, informing us that the new Pope Benedict XVI is "thoughtful" (right before adding the "aloof" tag), and he is an accomplished pianist (not that has anything to do with theology or Catholicism).