Best Laid Plans are a Good Thing

I have posted about the hard times, but it's time to start acknowledging some progress.

At 7 months out, with Suzy's birthday coming on Friday, I have come to a personal revelation. I cannot control the bad days. They will come upon me in unpredictable waves, regardless of what I do, where I am, or who I am with. Period. Deal with it.

I can, however, plan to have fun. That realization started to take shape at the Baltimore Widowbago weekend, which was a grand time. I am booked for Phoenix, which I know will be terrific as well, and Lauderdale is a definite possibility. But, knowing that these 'Bagos give me something to look forward to and give me positives to point towards, why stop there?

I plan to throw my surfboard on the roof and head to Cape Hatteras the day after tomorrow. I plan to go out for pizza and beer with some friends from work next week. I plan to make a road trip on Labor Day weekend to visit another good friend. I plan to invite my friends to visit me at every opportunity, and I plan to visit others when asked. I am planning my life, not just watching it go by and longing for a past that can never again be. And I am, for the most part, feeling much better for it.

Bad days? Sure. Lots more to come. Birthdays, holidays, in-laws, all the usual triggers. It will come. But I expect it.

Now there is a light out there at the end of this, and I believe I lit it myself and must hunt it down. And you, my good friends and fellow widders, kept me going and helped me strike the match. Thank you all.

Now, I need to start planning on replacing the floors, decks, rails. Maybe after Lauderdale!