Survivor Palau: Episode 13

Night 33 finds Jenn back at the still rat-infested camp, shocked that her compatriot, Gregg, was voted out. She shudders at the thought of spending a night without Gregg's comfort. Oh, please. If Janu can spend a night all alone, I think Jenn can get by without Gregg. Ian astutely notices that he and Tom have to avoid being on the losing end of an all-girl alliance, with the tally now at 3-2.

The next morning, the group starts turning on each other in earnest: Tom tells Caryn he wants to dump Katie and Jenn. Jenn and Katie try to get Ian to turn on Tom. Ian wants to take out Caryn.

Treemail promises a trip, a feast, and a view. Tom and Ian try to figure out who to take on reward, should they win. They agree not to take each other, so as to separate the girls. At this point, the gamesmanship becomes so twisted that I can't even begin to document it. Well, I can begin, but I can't do it justice: the upshot of it all is that Tom trusts Caryn, and Ian trusts Katie (even though she betrayed him once).

Reward for this week is the annual car. This time, it's a candy-apple red Chevy Corvette, with an overnight feast at a luxury mansion.

The challenge consist of collecting mileage markers from the other end of the lagoon and assigning them to various world cities.

The raft paddle portion of this challenge is a distinct advantage for the men: Tom and Ian's strength and balance seem too much for the women to keep up. That said, it is still painfully slow to watch even the men negotiate the course.

Eventually, and I do mean that in the most disengaged, ennui-laden sense, Ian returns first and starts assigning mileage. He gets it right the first time, and sits behind the wheel of his new Vette. *Yawn*

Which girl will Ian take with him on the trip, having already agreed with Tom not to take each other? Inexplicably, Ian throws out their previous agreement and takes Tom, leaving the three girls alone to plot for a night. How does this work into his strategy? If the girls get solid, Ian and Tom are toast. Well, whatever. Tom and Ian arrive at the Palaun mansion in Ian's Vette, and we learn that Ian has never had a car before. Of any sort. I guess there isn't much money in that much-coveted dolphin-training gig.

Oddly, Tom is nonplussed that Ian bailed on their previous strategy, and the pair proceed to plan anew, seemingly unaware that the three girls are doing the same. They decide to resolidify their alliance with Katie.

Back at camp, Katie is royally pissed off that she is not enjoying reward with Ian. The girls plot and dish, and Katie is shown to be smarter than we ever thought: A tentative alliance is formed, and Caryn aggressively machetes a coconut in half. The symbolism of that gesture is not lost on this guy.

Back at the beach the next day, Caryn plays the game: in front of Tom, she directly asks Ian: "Is it you, me and Tom or you, me and Katie."

Ian is caught totally unaware, and stumbles back, rolling his eyes in an apparent attempt to think, "It's you, me, kay, er you ... me .. and ...Tom." This Freudian blunder is not missed by Tom, who looks up at Ian and blinks. These people have so many lies strung out to so many people, they can barely function.

At this point, let me say that this thing has devolved into so much talk, so many lies, and so much plotting, that writing a cogent summary is beyond my interest. It has gone beyond snarky infighting and into plain nasty posturing. And that's fun to watch, but really dull to write about. I can't wait to see how Jeff Harrell handles it.

Suffice it to say that Ian and Katie have some sort of nasty break-down, like that first fight between two people that are finally realizing the other is not Prince Charming or Cinderella. In the end, both Ian and Katie end up in tears, with Ian lying down incredulous that Katie is so emotional over such a small thing as missing a dinner. I am sympathetic, but I have long ago given up on deluding myself that there is any such thing as a "small thing" when it comes to failing to meet the expectations of a woman's trust. And Ian will discover this eventually as well. In the end, it seems that Ian and Katie may be more of a "couple' than Gregg and Jenn ever were.

Day 36, and Tom and Caryn are feeling each other up out. Treemail describes a memory-agility immunity challenge. Tom tries to talk sense into Katie, who resents his bullying. After working on Katie, Tom goes after Ian, telling him not to trust Katie. He is playing more aggressive psychological games than I have ever seen on this show.

Immunity challenge is an obstacle course, followed by a puzzle, a return trip, and a memory duplication of the previously viewed puzzle.

Tom makes it back first, puts together one row, and heads back to look again. Jenn assembles her entire puzzle before heading back. Back and forth, back and forth, with Tom taking a real beating on the course. He falls hard four times on the robe bridge. On and on it goes In the end, finally, finally, thank you lord, someone wins immunity. Tom

Day 36 and the tribe arrives back on the beach. If the women's allliance hold together, Tom and Ian are in trouble. Ian and Katie try to figure out where to go from here. Katie, who has never won a single challenge, and who heretofore has flown under the radar, has suddenly become the most powerful person in the tribe. She can side with the girls or the guys, managing to have split the difference. Ian knows this and sucks up as hard as he can.

Tribal council. Probst throws salt into Katie's little reward pout, and then turns and does the same to Ian. Caryn accuses the guys of duplicity, and suddenly she has some power.

Everyone starts ratting out every conversation they had, and Coby on the jury covers his mouth in mock horror but genuine delight. Coby loved gossip during the game, and he loves it still.

At this point, everyone of these five seem to hate every other one. All the lies have been revealed, the deals exposed.

The votes are cast, and tallied, and Caryn is gone. The girls alliance didn't hold. Who flipped? Katie or Jenn? We are led to believe it was Katie, but we never saw Tom and Ian talking to Jenn. Maybe it's another editing twist. Tom, Ian, Katie, and Jenn are left and Probst grimly intones: "You are the final four. Over the next three days you will have three tribal councils, two imunity challenges, one winner. I can't wait to see how this plays out."

Next week: after a contentious tribal council, everyone's freaking happy with each other.