Survivor Palau: Episode 6
It’s night 12 on Ulong beach, and the Ibrehem bashing continues. James, who looks like he hasn't seen straight in years, demands "focus." Next morning, Ibrehem, after praying toward Mecca, opines that God had a hand in his savior at the last Tribal Council. If that's so, I wish Allah would spend a little more time helping the Muslims in the Middle East to a less violent lifestyle and a little less shepherding Ibrehem through a silly TV program.
That morning at Koror, it's home improvement day. Colby and Caryn dish on Katie for weaving. Then, in possibly the weirdest thing I have ever seen, Koror has a sock puppet show making fun of Ulong. "Ahm Bobby Jon, ah luv everbody, and ah look lahk jeezus chrast." I haven't seen a display that juvenile since I left junior high school. And these are adults, trying to win a million bucks.
Tree mail arrives with a Pringle's potato chip announcing the reward challenge, which turns out to be a shooting competition with a replica WWII era .50-caliber canon. My first impression is "COOL!" but it turns out to be a lame paintball gun gussied up like the real thing. Still, it's better than slingshots, I suppose.
The shooting begins, and nobody hits much of anything. After a few times through the rotation, they get better, and eventually Ulong wins when Steph hits and Caryn misses. Steph is not just happy - she's positively radiant. And ya know what? I'm happy for her. And for me. Because reward includes not only potato chips, but cocktails and a snorkeling trip. And I've been longing to watch Steph snorkel all season. Steph snorkeling drunk is that much more enticing. I rub myself hands with glee and make a fresh gin and tonic.
Off goes Ulong on a Japanese yacht of sorts, munching Pringles and drinking. And it's all in all one of the most boring rewards yet. Steph looks good again in her underwire bra, but there's not much of anything going on. Bobby Jon helpfully informs us that he will never be here again. I wonder if BJ will ever see the Macon County line again when he is through with this thing.
Night 13 finds Koror in the midst of a tremendous thunderstorm. Lightning, wind, rain, and terror. The next morning the tribe is visibly shaken. Janu responds by crying in the hammock all day. Tom tries to encourage her, but I am pretty much over her histrionics. I mean, they are in a shelter built by the crew, for crying out load! No Survivor group ever had a better shelter, and Janu is sobbing like a baby? Get over yourself.
Ulong receives treemail demanding they tie a chest up so that Koror can't get in it. James, who claimed to know something about guns in the last challenge but missed every freaking shot he took, now declares, "Ah know a few thangs about knots. Got a plan fer ya, ah learned this in the Navy." James proceeds to tie a bizarre looking birdsnest of a knot, and the tribe seems hopeful. Will Ulong win two in row, or will James look like an idiot? Let me rephrase that: Will James look even more foolish than he already does?
The tribes gather together for immunity challenge. Probst stands next to the immunity idol, and my wife remarks that they look alike in the same way dogs resemble their owners. And you know what? She’s right.
Off they go, both tribes building a fortress around their trunk. Or, more accurately, piling a bunch of tree limbs on top of their trunk. After 20 minutes, they stop and try to dismantle the other's work.
Will James's knot be the secret weapon? Koror reaches the trunk first and encounter "The Knot," which doesn't appear to slow them down. They win immunity yet again as, Steph shakes her head in disgust. Probst demonstrates his grasp of differential calculus and matrix algebra by announcing, "Someone's going home and this tribe will be down to three."
Ibrehem declares that he will vote for James. Steph and James try to rally against Ibrehem, with James picking up on the religion thing: "Ibreheem's overstaid his welcum. He wuz mint to go lahst tahm, and bah the grayce a All-ah, he din't go. Well, mah god sez he iz tah-day." Meanwhile, we see Bobby Jon and Stephenie scheming to run James out tonight, followed by Ibrehem. They seem resigned that the remaining three will return to tribal council before the tribes merge, and who can question that logic?
On to tribal council. James goes all psychological, and Probst rips them a new one, pointing out that Ibrehem took a stroll and James played with his clothing, and that's what lost them the immunity challenge. James's response? "That's not what held us up." Yeah, and hanging around a bar drinking all day wouldn't keep me from doing my work.
Off they go to vote, Probst tallies, and it's a tie between James and Ibrehem. Bobby Jon and Steph re-vote, and James is finally toast. "Ah unnerstaind, y'all" marks the end of my James dialog transcriptions. And I was just starting to get good at transcribing in Alabamese.
Next week: Serious fishing exploits, as Tom bags a shark.
That morning at Koror, it's home improvement day. Colby and Caryn dish on Katie for weaving. Then, in possibly the weirdest thing I have ever seen, Koror has a sock puppet show making fun of Ulong. "Ahm Bobby Jon, ah luv everbody, and ah look lahk jeezus chrast." I haven't seen a display that juvenile since I left junior high school. And these are adults, trying to win a million bucks.
Tree mail arrives with a Pringle's potato chip announcing the reward challenge, which turns out to be a shooting competition with a replica WWII era .50-caliber canon. My first impression is "COOL!" but it turns out to be a lame paintball gun gussied up like the real thing. Still, it's better than slingshots, I suppose.
The shooting begins, and nobody hits much of anything. After a few times through the rotation, they get better, and eventually Ulong wins when Steph hits and Caryn misses. Steph is not just happy - she's positively radiant. And ya know what? I'm happy for her. And for me. Because reward includes not only potato chips, but cocktails and a snorkeling trip. And I've been longing to watch Steph snorkel all season. Steph snorkeling drunk is that much more enticing. I rub my
Off goes Ulong on a Japanese yacht of sorts, munching Pringles and drinking. And it's all in all one of the most boring rewards yet. Steph looks good again in her underwire bra, but there's not much of anything going on. Bobby Jon helpfully informs us that he will never be here again. I wonder if BJ will ever see the Macon County line again when he is through with this thing.
Night 13 finds Koror in the midst of a tremendous thunderstorm. Lightning, wind, rain, and terror. The next morning the tribe is visibly shaken. Janu responds by crying in the hammock all day. Tom tries to encourage her, but I am pretty much over her histrionics. I mean, they are in a shelter built by the crew, for crying out load! No Survivor group ever had a better shelter, and Janu is sobbing like a baby? Get over yourself.
Ulong receives treemail demanding they tie a chest up so that Koror can't get in it. James, who claimed to know something about guns in the last challenge but missed every freaking shot he took, now declares, "Ah know a few thangs about knots. Got a plan fer ya, ah learned this in the Navy." James proceeds to tie a bizarre looking birdsnest of a knot, and the tribe seems hopeful. Will Ulong win two in row, or will James look like an idiot? Let me rephrase that: Will James look even more foolish than he already does?
The tribes gather together for immunity challenge. Probst stands next to the immunity idol, and my wife remarks that they look alike in the same way dogs resemble their owners. And you know what? She’s right.
Off they go, both tribes building a fortress around their trunk. Or, more accurately, piling a bunch of tree limbs on top of their trunk. After 20 minutes, they stop and try to dismantle the other's work.
Will James's knot be the secret weapon? Koror reaches the trunk first and encounter "The Knot," which doesn't appear to slow them down. They win immunity yet again as, Steph shakes her head in disgust. Probst demonstrates his grasp of differential calculus and matrix algebra by announcing, "Someone's going home and this tribe will be down to three."
Ibrehem declares that he will vote for James. Steph and James try to rally against Ibrehem, with James picking up on the religion thing: "Ibreheem's overstaid his welcum. He wuz mint to go lahst tahm, and bah the grayce a All-ah, he din't go. Well, mah god sez he iz tah-day." Meanwhile, we see Bobby Jon and Stephenie scheming to run James out tonight, followed by Ibrehem. They seem resigned that the remaining three will return to tribal council before the tribes merge, and who can question that logic?
On to tribal council. James goes all psychological, and Probst rips them a new one, pointing out that Ibrehem took a stroll and James played with his clothing, and that's what lost them the immunity challenge. James's response? "That's not what held us up." Yeah, and hanging around a bar drinking all day wouldn't keep me from doing my work.
Off they go to vote, Probst tallies, and it's a tie between James and Ibrehem. Bobby Jon and Steph re-vote, and James is finally toast. "Ah unnerstaind, y'all" marks the end of my James dialog transcriptions. And I was just starting to get good at transcribing in Alabamese.
Next week: Serious fishing exploits, as Tom bags a shark.
posted by Kurt at
9:13 AM
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