Survivor Palau: Episode 5
Night 11 at Koror finds Gregg and Jen romancing. This coupling nonsense is getting old. Until Survivor moves to Cinemax, I am officially against all this unseen romance. Colby is as well, but in catty-gay fashion rather than my "offended I can't watch the real action" way.
Flash to Koror, and the seeds of Willard's demise are planted, as the tribe implores him to tend the fire. Inexplicably he refuses.
At Ulong, a lightning storm is brewing, and the tribe is now lost in the jungle, having evacuated their camp in terror. In the past, I have made light of the intellectual firepower of this tribe. It seems I have overestimated them. They become "totally lost" on a 300 yard trek to a cave, and as the storm builds, Steph brilliantly observes "We're in the middle of the freaking jungle."
It took her eleven days to come up with that insight? And she follows up with this: "That's the last place they tell you to be." Ya know, growing up in New Jersey, my mom and dad always said, "the last place you want to be in a thunderstorm is the jungle," so I guess Steph is on to something. Finally back at camp after their futile adventure, James states "If you wont to ween do not quit. Ay-men." No sh*t, Sherlock. But at the same time, don't go wandering around in the rain all night long, either.
At Koror, Tom and others are kvetching about Willard's lack of interest in the fire. The consensus is that Willard is skating. And he is.
Day 12 and it's time for reward. The challenge is an underwater Easter egg hunt, in which the survivors swim and dive to retrieve submerged bottles. The treat is that the reward is food. The trick is that both tribes are going to tribal council, regardless of the outcome. Willard is in a boatload of trouble.
The challenge is on. And kind of boring it is. Probst does his best to inject some drama, but Koror has too much talent yet again. In the end, Ibrehem falters badly, Ulong loses, Steph pouts in her bra, and my wife remarks "underwire is a beautiful thing." Indeed it is. Indeed. It. Is.
I start to fantasize about Pouty Steph and her underwire bra, but the wife is here, so I must continue the illusion of serious blogging.
Koror celebrates their victory, with Ian promising a "party in my mouth." I hope he is talking about the food,and I fervently hope he isn't inviting Hairdresser Colby to that party. Colby helpfully implores his tribe not to eat and giggle and laugh at the same time. Nobody seems concerned about who to vote for, and Willard looks mighty worried.
Back at Ulong, the tribe comes down on Ibrehem like a ton of coconuts. In spite of his massive pecs, it seems he is destined to join the other losers back in civilization.
Willard also seems resigned to the inevitable. Approaching Colby, who is again clad only in his black banana hammock, Willard asks, "Do you fit in to my shorts?" SAY WHAT?? Is Willard looking for the gay vote? Colby responds, voice braying like Mister Ed but a full octave higher, "Willard, don't make me sad. Probably." Eeeeww.
Some catty alliances start developing in Koror out of nowhere. Colby is suddenly portrayed as a power player, and strategies are developed to get rid of Fireman Tom. Colby is predictably excited by the psychological head games - enough said about that.
Koror arrives at Tribal Council for the first time. Tom and Ian are identified as leaders. Coby just luuuvs everybody. Hell, everyone in Koror loves everyone.
The tribe votes, and Willard is predictably gone. Before he goes, I resolve to have Willard's biceps at his age. That guy seemed weak, but he had some guns.
Ulong files in for their vote while Koror feasts and watches. Janu, the Las Vegas showgirl, is single handedly dispelling the rumor that showgirls have nice figures, because this woman looks like an anorexic thirteen-year-old.
Ulong is desperate and depressed, as tattoed Angie almost wrings her skull with her hands. This group really seems to be spiralling into the abyss. And you know what? It couldn't happen to a better bunch.
Let me pause for a minute to comment on James. And his garb. Jeff Harrell remarked on it previously, but this guy's Jesus crisis continues. Tonight he is adorned in his white skivvies and t-shirt, with a robe draped dramatically over his right shoulder. I am prepared to drop to my knees, as all that is missing is the nails in the palms, but the spell is broken quickly as Jimbo speaks:
Probst announces that Koror will vote immunity to a member of Ulong. Koror is clearly surprised as well, but three astute tribemembers see that they can throw Ulong into further turmoil by granting Dead Man Walking Ibrehem immunity.
What will Ulong do now? Who knows? For myself, it's time to refresh my cocktail. Ah that's good.
I think I'll hold it right here and refresh once again. Slurp - Ahh. TiVo rules.
*urp* Koror departs and, in obvious turmoil, Ulong votes, though not for Ibrehem as planned. Probst counts and we have a tie between Tattoo Angie and Bobby Jon. James, Ibrehem, and Steph re-vote, and Tattoo Angie is given her pink slip. Nobody saw that one coming when this council started, but the editors in charge of pixelating inappropriate-for-teevee body parts just had their work cut in half.
Next week: Ulong still has no love for Ibrehem, and Koror is afraid of the weather.
Flash to Koror, and the seeds of Willard's demise are planted, as the tribe implores him to tend the fire. Inexplicably he refuses.
At Ulong, a lightning storm is brewing, and the tribe is now lost in the jungle, having evacuated their camp in terror. In the past, I have made light of the intellectual firepower of this tribe. It seems I have overestimated them. They become "totally lost" on a 300 yard trek to a cave, and as the storm builds, Steph brilliantly observes "We're in the middle of the freaking jungle."
It took her eleven days to come up with that insight? And she follows up with this: "That's the last place they tell you to be." Ya know, growing up in New Jersey, my mom and dad always said, "the last place you want to be in a thunderstorm is the jungle," so I guess Steph is on to something. Finally back at camp after their futile adventure, James states "If you wont to ween do not quit. Ay-men." No sh*t, Sherlock. But at the same time, don't go wandering around in the rain all night long, either.
At Koror, Tom and others are kvetching about Willard's lack of interest in the fire. The consensus is that Willard is skating. And he is.
Day 12 and it's time for reward. The challenge is an underwater Easter egg hunt, in which the survivors swim and dive to retrieve submerged bottles. The treat is that the reward is food. The trick is that both tribes are going to tribal council, regardless of the outcome. Willard is in a boatload of trouble.
The challenge is on. And kind of boring it is. Probst does his best to inject some drama, but Koror has too much talent yet again. In the end, Ibrehem falters badly, Ulong loses, Steph pouts in her bra, and my wife remarks "underwire is a beautiful thing." Indeed it is. Indeed. It. Is.
I start to fantasize about Pouty Steph and her underwire bra, but the wife is here, so I must continue the illusion of serious blogging.
Koror celebrates their victory, with Ian promising a "party in my mouth." I hope he is talking about the food,and I fervently hope he isn't inviting Hairdresser Colby to that party. Colby helpfully implores his tribe not to eat and giggle and laugh at the same time. Nobody seems concerned about who to vote for, and Willard looks mighty worried.
Back at Ulong, the tribe comes down on Ibrehem like a ton of coconuts. In spite of his massive pecs, it seems he is destined to join the other losers back in civilization.
Willard also seems resigned to the inevitable. Approaching Colby, who is again clad only in his black banana hammock, Willard asks, "Do you fit in to my shorts?" SAY WHAT?? Is Willard looking for the gay vote? Colby responds, voice braying like Mister Ed but a full octave higher, "Willard, don't make me sad. Probably." Eeeeww.
Some catty alliances start developing in Koror out of nowhere. Colby is suddenly portrayed as a power player, and strategies are developed to get rid of Fireman Tom. Colby is predictably excited by the psychological head games - enough said about that.
Koror arrives at Tribal Council for the first time. Tom and Ian are identified as leaders. Coby just luuuvs everybody. Hell, everyone in Koror loves everyone.
The tribe votes, and Willard is predictably gone. Before he goes, I resolve to have Willard's biceps at his age. That guy seemed weak, but he had some guns.
Ulong files in for their vote while Koror feasts and watches. Janu, the Las Vegas showgirl, is single handedly dispelling the rumor that showgirls have nice figures, because this woman looks like an anorexic thirteen-year-old.
Ulong is desperate and depressed, as tattoed Angie almost wrings her skull with her hands. This group really seems to be spiralling into the abyss. And you know what? It couldn't happen to a better bunch.
Let me pause for a minute to comment on James. And his garb. Jeff Harrell remarked on it previously, but this guy's Jesus crisis continues. Tonight he is adorned in his white skivvies and t-shirt, with a robe draped dramatically over his right shoulder. I am prepared to drop to my knees, as all that is missing is the nails in the palms, but the spell is broken quickly as Jimbo speaks:
"We wonted it, main. Ahr deesahr wuz thair. We wuz pullin as hahrd as we could."Ibrehem tries to pull his ass out of the fire by pointing out he is not the only weak link. Then: SURPRISE!
Probst announces that Koror will vote immunity to a member of Ulong. Koror is clearly surprised as well, but three astute tribemembers see that they can throw Ulong into further turmoil by granting Dead Man Walking Ibrehem immunity.
What will Ulong do now? Who knows? For myself, it's time to refresh my cocktail. Ah that's good.
I think I'll hold it right here and refresh once again. Slurp - Ahh. TiVo rules.
*urp* Koror departs and, in obvious turmoil, Ulong votes, though not for Ibrehem as planned. Probst counts and we have a tie between Tattoo Angie and Bobby Jon. James, Ibrehem, and Steph re-vote, and Tattoo Angie is given her pink slip. Nobody saw that one coming when this council started, but the editors in charge of pixelating inappropriate-for-teevee body parts just had their work cut in half.
Next week: Ulong still has no love for Ibrehem, and Koror is afraid of the weather.
posted by Kurt at
11:15 AM
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