A Few of my Favorite Things

James Taranto over at the Journal's "Best of the Web Today" page (link available a droit) noted that John Kerry, answering a Humane Society questionaire, had this to say concerning his own pets:

When I was serving on a swiftboat in Vietnam, my crewmates and I had a dog we called VC. We all took care of him, and he stayed with us and loved riding on the swiftboat deck. I think he provided all of us with a link to home and a few moments of peace and tranquility during a dangerous time. One day as our swiftboat was heading up a river, a mine exploded hard under our boat. After picking ourselves up, we discovered VC was MIA. Several minutes of frantic search followed after which we thought we'd lost him. We were relieved when another boat called asking if we were missing a dog. It turns out VC was catapulted from the deck of our boat and landed confused, but unhurt, on the deck of another boat in our patrol.

That's right! Kerry managed to turn a question about a pet into a Vietnam story! I began to wonder how he might answer other such questions:

Favorite pet: VC the Vietnamese dog

Favorite food: The rice we picked ourselves as we slogged through a paddy and boiled in our helmets while I stood guard over my band of brothers.

Favorite color: Jungle Camo, stained with the blood of my best friend, the company Chaplain, who died in my arms after a friendly-fire incident.

Favorite childhood experience: I didn't really grow up until I went to Vietnam, so I would say the first time I saw the sunset over the Mekong Delta, as I ducked incoming mortar fire.

Favorite weapon system: None

Favorite politician: Ted Kennedy, a loyal and true American who, had he been serving with me in Vietnam, would surely have jumped into a river to save his brothers (the rivers in 'Nam are much warmer than Nantucket Sound, after all)