France Through the Eyes of an Expatriot

Commentary Magazine has a fascinating article written by Nidra Poller, an American Jewish woman who moved to France in 1972. She has lived in Paris ever since, raised a family, and considers herself more European than American. She now finds, however, she cannot stay.

I came back to be European and, irony of ironies, Europe is showing me why my grandparents left. For a novelist and student of history, this is a fantastic experience. For a grandmother, it is agony. How can I explain to French grandchildren whose very existence is the consequence of my once flighty decision that I cannot entrust them to their native land? But how can I lead them to safety if I myself do not know how to go home?

Poller goes on to explain why she loves France and embraced life there. She finally documents how France is changing with the rise of anti-semitism and anti-Americanism. In conclusion, she observes that she, like her ancestors, is being forced from Europe:

We are not free in France. I know the difference. I come from a free country. A rough and ready, clumsy, slapped together, tacky country where people say wow and gosh and shop at Costco. A country so vast I haven’t the faintest idea where I would put myself. A homeland I would have liked to keep at a distance, visit with pleasure, and leave with relief. A native land I walked out on with belated adolescent insouciance. A foreign land where I was born because Europe vomited up my grandparents as it is now coughing up me and mine.

The anti-semitism of socialist totalitarianism is, apparently, not much different than the anti-semitism of fascist totalitarianism.