Global Warming Invites Alien Attack

Man-made global warming skeptics don't really need to discredit scientists any more. Just point to this report, in which they discredit themselves. I would have dismissed the whole thing as a parody, but the link goes to the Cornell library website, and there's the report, available for download in PDF format. Feast on this intellectual tour de force:

The authors warn that extraterrestrials may be wary of civilisations that expand very rapidly, as these may be prone to destroy other life as they grow, just as humans have pushed species to extinction on Earth. In the most extreme scenario, aliens might choose to destroy humanity to protect other civilisations.

"A preemptive strike would be particularly likely in the early phases of our expansion because a civilisation may become increasingly difficult to destroy as it continues to expand. Humanity may just now be entering the period in which its rapid civilisational expansion could be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of the Earth's atmosphere, via greenhouse gas emissions," the report states.

"Green" aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet. "These scenarios give us reason to limit our growth and reduce our impact on global ecosystems. It would be particularly important for us to limit our emissions of greenhouse gases, since atmospheric composition can be observed from other planets," the authors write.

Oh-kay. We are implored to cripple human civilization to ward off attacks from "green" aliens. And they call this nonsense "science." I call it batshit crazy.