Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Via Jay Tea at Wizbang! comes this explanation of why we Americans are even crazier than the jihadists who would attack us:
I have news for you. We're more nuts than you, and it should scare you shitless.

  • We had 39 guys who rented a Beverly Hills mansion, cut off their nuts, built a web site, and proceeded to poison themselves to death to hitch a ride with aliens out on the Hale-Bopp comet.
  • We made a sequel to Police Academy 5.
  • We gave an award for singing to two guys who never even sang.
  • We put little sweaters on dogs.
  • We shot John Lennon six times and didn't even aim for Yoko Ono.
  • We think Elvis is still alive.
  • We put Braille on drive-up automatic teller machines.
  • We think that a simple button on a web site that says "Do not click if you're under 21" will do anything but cause a person under 21 to click on it.
  • We sell hot dogs in packages of ten and the buns in packages of eight.
  • We can't even decide if pitchers should have to bat for themselves or not.
  • All those baseball fields we've got. And none of them are even remotely the same size.
  • We've managed to keep the formulas for Coca-Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken secret for decades, we encrypt the most banal communications on our Information Superhighway, and yet we given away our most important nuclear secrets to the Chinese and Russians at the drop of a hat.
  • That’s good stuff from Laurence Simon.


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