Wednesday, March 09, 2011

I really get a kick out of the lead paragraph in this Associated Press story:
The Wisconsin Senate succeeded in voting Wednesday to strip nearly all collective bargaining rights from public workers, after Republicans discovered a way to bypass the chamber's missing Democrats and approve an explosive proposal that has rocked the state and unions nationwide.
This is journalism? Let's dissect this paragraph.

  • voting Wednesday to strip nearly all collective bargaining rights...

  • NEARLY all?? Which so called rights have been stripped? Which remain? As far as I can tell from a one sentence blurb 15 paragraphs down, "nearly" is an acknowledgement that police and fire personnel are not affected. So we are back to the petulant teachers.

  • after Republicans discovered...

  • Oh, those wily Republicans! Forever discovering mysterious ways to hold votes and pass legislation when elected to the majority. In spite of Democrat obstruction.

  • discovered a way to bypass...

  • Bypass! Holy crap, I never thought of that. In "discovering" a way to vote, the Republican majority has somehow "bypassed" the Democrats, who are helplessly standing on the side lines trying to help! Or are they? Wait, no, they are in Illinois playing keep-away.

    And now my favorite part:

  • bypass the chamber's missing Democrats...

  • Missing Democrats? MISSING Democrats? They are MISSING because they QUIT! They are GONE because they LEFT! They are UNAVAILABLE because they are UNACCOUNTABLE FREAKING CHILDREN! They are decidedly not "missing."

    Hat Tip: Althouse.


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