Once upon a time, a long time ago and very far away, there was a joke in which four political philosophers — who are all dead now and can’t be subpoenaed by Congress — were asked what the appropriate response would be to a couple having sex on the steps of the public library. The conservative said it was okay if the couple had benefit of clergy. The liberal said it was fine, as long as it was mandatory. The communist said it didn’t matter because they were going to be shot afterward, anyway. And the libertarian said: There shouldn’t be any public libraries

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