Satire Alert

STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK WAY MORE FUN TO STUDY

According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more fun to do research on than women who do not consume alcohol.

Oh, and the report also found that women who have a few drinks each week are less likely to develop high blood pressure. Whatever. [...]

Dr. Eric Shinauer, who headed the study for Harvard's School of Public Health, put the findings in perspective. "Alcohol, 70,000 nurses, and us," he said. "Is that cool or what?" [...]

Palava bristled, however, at the suggestion that researchers should also study the effect of alcohol on young men. "Jesus, we're not gay," he said.

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